The Conjuring (2013) - Horror movie review (No Spoilers!)- The Creepy Critter

I have to start this review by giving credit where its due! I watched "The Conjuring" with a casual cinema goer and they were suitably absolutely terrified and unnerved! Certainly they got what they came and paid for, and in that respect therefore "The Conjuring" is a success. How does the movie hold up however, under intense scrutiny from the bloodshot beady eye of the dedicated horror fan?

"The Conjuring" supposedly recreates the real life events as experienced by members of the Perron family and paranormal investigators / demonologists Ed and Lorraine Warren. The PR for the film would have you believe that this is a case file so horrendous, that the Warrens’ kept the details hidden from the public eye for many years! The case in question concerns the demonic infestation of a house with a long history of tragedy and murder, that was once inhabited by a satanic witch! The Perron family purchase the house completely unaware of this horrible history, and ready to start their new lives in the country. Of course its not long before all hell comes a’ knocking! and the family are forced to turn to the Warrens’ to try and save their souls! The main story arc is interwoven with the story of another famous Warren case file, concerning the demonic inhabitation of a "creepy as feck" old doll.

"The Conjuring" is very well acted throughout, with Vera Farmiga (Lorraine Warren) and Patrick Wilson (Ed Warren) deserving special mention for their depiction of the Warrens. The chemistry between the two actors is completely believable and endearing. Indeed you will care about all of the main characters in this film, and that is a very important part of the what this film does so right.

It is totally fair to say that "The Conjuring" does nothing new, in fact it contains every haunted house movie cliche in the book, and as with so many demon inspired movies of late, much of the space between the truly scary parts of the film are filled in with much demonic door slamming from the unseen entities! I mean jeez if i was a paranormal investigator i would solve half the problem by removing the doors in the house and shouting “how you like them apples!” loud enough for all of hell and its pesky demons to hear. Let me suggest a drinking game for you to play whilst you watch "The Conjuring"! Make a check-list of every haunted house movie cliche you can think of and then take a shot of vodka, tequila or whiskey whenever you see one of these cliches in the film. I can assure you that you will be as drunk as a skunk before the half way mark of the movie!

Creepy basement - Check
Spooked pets - Check
Stopped clocks - Check
Child playing with unseen friend - Check
Reluctant priest - check!!!! etc etc etc

You get the picture!!!

For me the film was particularly reminiscent of “Amityville” and “The haunting in Connecticut” which of course are two other horror films based on supposedly true events that involved the warrens'. One could therefore argue that many of the haunted house cliches the film contains are actually the typical signs and symptoms of a home gripped tight in the grasp of demonic forces.

So there you have it "The Conjuring" is 112 minutes of cliche after cliche......................
All of them used superbly! and boy is "The Conjuring" ferociously fantastic for it!!!!!

As with the recent "Evil Dead" remake, yes "The Conjuring" is nothing new, but its something old remixed, relaunched and tweaked almost to perfection! There is no filler in "The Conjuring", no dead space at all, the pacing of the movie is absolutely spot on, you are always unnerved, constantly worried for the Perron family and the Warrens' which keeps you intently focused on the film and therefore the scares as they start to come thick and fast in the last half of the film have all the more impact and jump effect! Its all in here! Witches, demons, exorcisms, ghosts and possessions all held in place by a tight script that slowly reveals the mystery of the house and just how big a demonic kahuna the Perron family and Ed and Lorraine are facing! The creepy Annabelle doll subplot works really well and is seamlessly interwoven with the main storyline despite initially beginning as a very separate story, this in itself a sign of a really well written and directed film.

Is "The Conjuring" the best haunted house movie of all time? i wont answer that right now, but the fact that i a seasoned, battle scarred horror film veteran is even thinking about that question, should tell you just how brilliant this movie is. 8.7 Skulls out of ten!